I woke up and all I saw were trees. A fresh scent caught my nose that reminded me of a home I never knew. I’m lying on a pile of soft lush grass surrounded by purple and yellow wild flowers. I sat up, wondering where I was. The scents of the place are unlike anything I had smelled before. Looking around, I noticed a squirrel watching me from the safety of the trees. He tilted his head to one side, and then scurried up out of view. I felt like I should know why I’m here, but I don’t.
not enough if when you get there...
just another blue
I stood up and stretched my legs, letting the wind ruffle through my brown fur. I raised my snout and in the air. I could smell flowers, deer and antelope. Some scents I didn’t recognize. My paws take me to an open area with a huge lake with buffalo drinking from it. Some birds flew over my head and landed around the lake, with a few perching on the backs of the buffalo. My stomach growled and I smiled. Food!
and heaven's not enough
you think you've found it
and it loses you
I made a successful hunt catching me a deer. It tasted amazing; it didn’t even have a stringy game taste to it. Buffalo were just too big for me to handle by myself, and by the smell of it I was the only one here at the moment. That’s fine by me, I never minded being alone. I sat back, and watched the clouds roll by. A guy could get use to this. No humans, no cars, no huge buildings…
you've thought of all there is
but not enough
Yet, I feel like something is missing. It’s like my gut is telling me I’m suppose to remember somebody.
and it loses you in a cloud.
I ran down to the lake and took a long drink. The water is so fresh, unlike the nasty human water. It’s so good it reminds me of that cool pond that we found after coming out of the forest of death…
"there" most everything is nothing'
that it seems
Wait…”we”. Who is “we”?
"where" you see the things you only wanna see
I lifted my snout from the water and saw my reflection in the lake. Something there in my eyes screams “remember!” Remember what? What was I forgetting? All I remember is waking up here after being with Kiba-
I'd fly away
to a higher plane
to say words I resist
to float away
to breathe.... forget
“Oh my gosh, Kiba!” I yelped in surprise. I had met Kiba back in the city where we smelled the lunar flower and…Cheza! The flower maiden! He had gone after her, and we had gotten ourselves arrested to get to her! Memories started to flood back. Tsume and Toboe, we all traveled to get to Paradise; we followed Kiba and Cheza. Then we met Lord Darcia…
and heaven's not enough
if when I'm there I don't remember you
Oh, how could I forget Blue? She had kept me going, even after everyone found out what I had done to the pack of strays.
“Blue!” I howled in anguish. Blue. Everything was back now. We were fighting Lord Darcia when she died. I was in so much pain. I couldn’t help her, no matter what I did. I was too weak, she still died. What kind of a wolf am I?
and heaven does enough
you think you know it
and it uses you
I had asked Tsume to put me down. I was half dead anyway. Without her, what am I?
Am I in Paradise? If so, where was Toboe? I hadn’t smelled him or Blue since I got here. Had the others made it here? Hell, none of that mattered now. Without Blue, this wasn’t paradise at all.
I howled as loud and long as I could. Birds flew and headed for the skies. I ran up to the woods frantically and sniffed for her beautiful scent. I went from a forest to long fields where horses grazed peacefully. They paid no attention to me as I ran past them. I called out for her over and over. “Blue! Blue, where are you?” I came to a stop at the edge of another forest. This one was thicker with more undergrowth. “Answer me!” I howled. My voice rang out through the trees, sad and full of grief. I couldn’t get her beautiful dark blue coat with her bright eyes out of my head. Had Paradise rejected her? After all, she was only half-wolf.
I saw so many things
but like a dream
always losing me in a cloud
Paradise had to of accepted her. She had done nothing wrong! I was the one who should have never lived. I betrayed the pack of strays, and I betrayed Kiba and the others. Tsume had even said so. Then I remember what Kiba had told me and shook my head. I needed to find Blue, whatever it took. I told her I would never leave her!
"I won’t! Please Blue, if I know you’re waiting for me I’ll make it back no matter what! …It’s the only thing that can get me through this. If I know you’re here. I won’t give up. I’ll do whatever it takes to get back to you. I promise. I’ll never leave you alone Blue."
“I’m coming Blue. Whatever it takes, I will find you.” I whispered, letting the wind carry my words away with a simple gust. The sun was setting and the only thing I could think of is where. Where do I even start to look for her? I brought my focus back to the forest in front of me, and started my way through the thick vines and limbs. I tore through until I thought my paws would fall off, my mouth sore from cuts.
I finally made it to the end of the forest, collapsing on the flat ground in front of me. I licked at my paws and whined. My eyelids began to get heavy, and then a scent caught my attention. I bolted up, all pain forgotten. “Blue!” I howled. I started to sniff around frantically. It was her scent, I’d know it anywhere!
I looked up from my spot and in the distance, under the full moon light, I saw a dark figure of a she-wolf looking at me. “Blue.” I whisper
cause I couldn't cry
cause I turned away
couldn't see the score
didn't know the pain
of leaving yesterday really far behind
She started to run toward me. “Hige! Hige, is that you?”
We collided in a spin and I licked her beautiful face, letting her sweet scent engulf me.
“Hige, I can’t believe it! I-I woke up here, and at first I couldn’t remember much but then…Oh, Hige!” She buried her nose in my fur, as I did hers. “Hige, I thought I’d lost you. I didn’t know where I was…” she whispered. “Now I do.”
in another life
in another dream
by a different name
gave it all away
for a memory
and a quiet lie
I looked into her deep blue eyes. “Blue, I’ll never leave you. For as long as I live, I’ll always look for you, no matter what. I’ll always come back to you, Blue. Believe me…” She rubbed her face to mine and gave a howl to the moon. I joined with her, and we sang a song only we could understand.
and I felt the face
of a cold tonight
still don't know the score
but I know the pain
of leaving everything really far behind
We ran together that night, free and happy at last. We both played like pups in a field of lunar flowers, and yipped until we couldn’t keep our eyes open. We had found it, at last.
“Kiba did it,” I whispered. “He opened Paradise.”
I lied down beside her under the full moon and whispered in her ear...
and if I could cry
and if I could live what truth I did then take me there
“I love you, Blue.”